Grief Counseling Advice During Pandemic

Counseling Reflection on Grief & Loss During the Pandemic

We are now close to a year into this pandemic and life has been trying on many levels. People who used to have access to ways to care for themselves don’t have the same access as before. Self care is challenging to say the least and I know people have different levels of comfort with risk.

One thing I talk to my clients, as well as my family, about is that there is a lot of loss. And the loss keeps coming. Winter holidays have come and gone, and for a lot of people holidays were extremely different then years past. Life is different. Most people have had birthdays already. And yet we are still in it.

Please don’t compare your pain. On a Brenee Brown pod cast with David Kessler, who is an expert in grief, he shared that the worst grief is the one you are going through. Don’t compare, you can almost always find people in worse situations or better positions. Comparison keeps you from feeling what is really going on. You grief is your grief. Feel it.

If you need help in this trying time, contact me for ways I can help.

I wanted to share this video, It does have curse word in it, just FYI.

Benefits & Obstacles of Telehealth Therapy

Review of Telehealth Therapy Sessions

It has been an interesting time. Back in March I thought 2 weeks for telehealth, then it extended again and again. Here are some things that I have found to be helpful for my clients, as well as the downfalls.Telehealth therapy review from Oregon Therapist

Telehealth Benefits

1) It is easy. People love being able to just sign in. They can just have woken up. Be running late. And then sign on. When in person, I would text and they would scramble, unless they lived in the neighborhood, they couldn’t make it in time, so it was a missed session. So in addition to ease no late cancellation fee.

2) No need for babysitters and no commute. I am able to see people all over Oregon. Hopefully in Washington and California soon with getting licensed. It opens up possibilities for people to be able to see who they want and not be confined to geography and commute and schedules.

3) it can be much easier to schedule because there isn’t a commute or geography to deal with. People can use their lunch break or leave work and talk in their car.

4) We can talk and not wear masks. Masks cover much of the face which is a big part of therapy, me being able to see you as well as you seeing my reaction.

Obstacles for Telehealth Therapy

1) no babysitters, so depending on the age of the kids, they can come in and interrupt the session as they also need attention.

2) The physical location. Not having a space to go to, that is safe, and confidential. Sometimes it can be very challenging for people to be able to find a quiet, confidential space to talk.  Some people have mentioned they miss coming in to a different space than their home or car.

3) Being in person. And there isn’t the same three dimensional aspect of seeing someone in person.

Contact me for more information on Oregon telehealth therapy.

Joy & Personal Growth with Online LGBT Counseling

All Work and No Play? Why We Need to Take Advantage of Opportunities for Joy and Personal Growth

Online LGBT Counseling for Personal GrowthFor some of us, it can feel like we should spend every moment of our days being productive. A wasted moment is a missed opportunity to make more money, impress your boss, start a new project, or simply get more work done. To succeed in “adulting,” we might push free time to the back burner in favor of working longer hours instead. Without a doubt, many of us feel a lot of pressure to work hard and focus on productivity above all else.

Yet, if we neglect opportunities to prioritize our own personal growth or simply experience joy with no pressure to compete, we may begin to feel like our lives are incomplete or stagnant.

Why do we need time to simply be ourselves, engage in our hobbies, and let go of high expectations?

Continue reading on PortlandPsychotherapy.com.

All Work and No Play? Why We Need to Take Advantage of Opportunities for Joy and Personal Growth

Gender Diversity Health Model

Gender and Sex are Complex

Gender and sexy health therapy.Gender is not as simple as putting people into neat boxes of “male” or “female.” A useful way to understand gender diversity is the gender health model, which encourages people to fully explore all parts of their gender identity and gender expression. Gender identity is one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both, neither, or something else. Neurologically and philosophically, gender identity is anchored in the brain or mind. But what about sex?

Continue reading on PortlandPsychotherapy.com.

Gender and sex are complex.

Portland Public Therapy Resources

Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Resources

Mindfulness public resources from lgbt counselor.At Portland Psychotherapy, for years we’ve been maintaining a list of the best ACT resources for the public that we know about. We have links to video, self help courses, meditation recordings, apps, and much more. I recently went out and searched the web for additional Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) resources to update our list. Below are the newest additions. To see the complete list of resources, go to our ACT Exercise and Audio Files page. […]

Continue reading this article at Portland Psychotherapy.

Holiday Relationship Tips During the Pandemic

Relationship Tips for Holidays

Relationship tips for the Portland Pandemic holiday.This time of year can be hard. I think this year in particular may be harder. We are 7 plus months into the pandemic and not seeing a clear way out. People are tired, people want connection and socializing and some normalcy. With colder, wetter weather coming in the Pacific Northwest, in person socializing can be harder.

I have heard people talk about the upcoming holidays. And most likely it won’t be the same as years past. Some people don’t want to do anything if it can’t be the way it has been. I don’t know if anyone actually threw the baby out with the bath water, but please don’t. There are things that are good and can be reworked with some creativity. Holiday rituals don’t have to be non-existent. It can be different. I encourage you to be creative in finding different ways to connect with family and friends. Find different ways to do things that you have enjoyed in the past, just tweak them a bit.

If you are struggling and need some help, contact me for more information on Oregon Telehealth relationship therapy appointments.

Danger of “if then” thinking

Can Life Coaching Help with ‘If Then’ Thinking?

Have you ever had the thought of “If I (fill in the blank), then (fill in in the blank)” or “once I…, then I’ll…”

Choices in life coaching Portland-If I move to another city, then I’ll be happy.

-Once I get this together, then I’ll be able to do this.

-Once I turn 50, then I’ll buy myself that car.

-Once I have enough experience then I can start that new project.

-If I ever win the lottery, then I’ll buy my dream home.

-Once I start therapy/coaching/medication, I’ll feel better.

Do any of these sound familiar? What are some other ones that you may find yourself thinking? Continue reading

A few shifts from arguing

Life Coaching Tips to Avoid Arguments

If you notice getting into an argument/ yelling match and it feels all too familiar, here are a few steps to help shift the dynamic:

  1. Change your posture. Chances are if you’re in an argument your face is scrunched, brow furrowed, and holding your breath. Take a moment to change your posture- stretch your arms out and back, expose your chest some, stretch side to side, roll your neck
  2. Breath deeply. Blow all your air out and hold it. Take a full breath in
  3. Life sometimes needs coaching tips for arguments.Notice if you are defensive. Are you looking to explain why you are right and they are wrong? If yes, admit you are there and know that most likely from this place you know how it plays out. Stop if you are defensive. 
  4. Ask yourself if you can see this person as your ally. 
  5. If not, take a break. To paraphrase Einstein, a problem can’t be solved in the same mindset it was created in. Do not expect to solve it if you don’ t shift your mindset that started the argument.

This is of course just a few options with short explanations. There is certainly more exploration to this and it is a start.

Cheers to more life and connection in your relationship. With life coaching we can work on any relationships and tips for your life. Contact me for more details.

Compliments to Marcolm at freedigitalphotos.net

How I work with people: part 4

Things to Love About Coaching Homework

Another word on homework. I often have people come in having not done their homework. It is not my job to shame you, I find that people do that enough without adding any more. We can explore what occurred that you didn’t do it. Although, I often find that a couple of things can happen when people haven’t “done” their homework:

  1. they did and just didn’t realize it
  2. they explored something else that had meaning to them
  3. what was homework, didn’t show up for them so they didn’t have the opportunity to explore it
  4. there was hesitation to facing into the homework and then the work is to explore that.

LGTBQ-friendly coaching homework Portland.The thing I love about homework is that the therapy or coaching session is not just this isolated event, a bubble of time for you to focus on you. Granted it is time for you, sometimes the only place people have to be listened to, connect with another and heard fully. Homework is a thread that connects the sessions together. It is a time for you to continue your intention to work on your goals outside of the walls of my Portland office. It is practice in “real time” in your “real life.”

To get started with your homework contact me to start your Portland coaching sessions with an LGTBQ-friendly therapist.

Photo compliments of Mister GC at freedigitalphotos.net

How I work with people part 3

What is Counseling Homework?

In counseling and coaching, people may come in wanting to be “fixed.” That is not my job. It is also not how I see people. I see people as whole, yes you are on a journey and there may be things that you want changed (that is why people come see me because they want something changed and don’t know how to go about making the changes). And you are not broken or messed up or completely shattered, you are whole just as you are in the midst of the challenges that you are facing.

Often times the steps may be small. People often don’t take a gigantic leap. More often than not, it is a baby step by baby step and sometimes  it may feel like you’re either going backwards Counseling homework for Portland, Oregon LGBT friendly therapist.or falling down. Sometimes the sessions are not a nicely wrapped present with a beautiful bow on top. Sometimes they end in a way that feels very undone. This can also be a time when a lot of change can happen, as you sit with what’s going on.

I do like to give homework, I have adolescents who call it something else since they have enough homework from school- growth opportunity, advancement protocol, something to think about. The homework, or whatever you choose to call it, is something that was explored in the session. Of course that is not always the case, sometimes people want to inquire into something completely different. Either way, I ask if you have ideas and I can toss out some ideas as well. You get to decide what you want to do. The concept of homework is to keep you thinking, exploring, delving into, to keep your intention and attention on movement, to be aware of how you are in the world so that what “just happens” will become conscious and therefore you have a choice in the matter.

Are you ready to work on your counseling? Contact me for area Portland, Oregon LGBT friendly counseling.

Photo compliments of Master isolated images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net