EI is like IQ with emotions. How do you know what you are feeling (noticing body sensation)? How do you communicate that with others (verbal, non verbal)? Do you share with words or with actions (telling someone vs giving them a cold shoulder)? Can you label accurately what you are feeling (anger vs sadness)? Is there space between stimulus and your response (do you react immediately, take a breath and determine the next course of action)?
This isn’t something that is typically taught. In fact many of us are taught not to listen to ourselves. For example, “You just ate, you can’t be hungry again,” You just went to the bathroom, you can wait,” “Don’t cry, it’s ok, it’s not that bad.”